thoughts of you

funny how i think of you
for i dont know if you think of me too

how do i say i miss you so
when i never had a chance to at least try to find you

when will i ever end imagining i'm with you
though it is crazy that is what i do

how do i tell myself that it aint worth it
for i feel okay whenever i have thoughts of you

when will i find the answer to my questions
will it be in my dreams that i hope will come true?

what now?

for all i know- am i still human?
do i still feel that?

will i ever end up being so worried
that maybe tomorrow i will still be walking alone
on my own with no one to stay beside me...

could i ever try to set myself free.....
freedom from being a slave.....
freedom from living a lie......
freedom from being miserable....
freedom from hoping against hope...

I want to be free....let God and let go......
and let me be me....

stop and smell the roses

Wow!

I'd love to say that,I would love to stop and smell the roses.
It has been years of hardwork and still counting.....

Oh my, wish could turn back the hands of time------90s my era.
A lot of nice memories to go back to...hmmm...nostalgia.

I am only as good as my last call-do I mean that?

Just want to stop and smell the roses....

"when love is gone"

It has been quite sometime since I have
updated my blog.

And now I have to write about a love, gone....
not sure if forever.

I still can feel the numbness of my heart, my mind
could not help me remember how it was then.

For all I care, I am again becoming this
"no nonesense lady."

How I wish someone would come now and save me from this misery....

I have long wished for a real friend....but no one came to carry me....

Maybe it is not yet time,
Who knows when?

Maybe tomorrow.....

dust......

February 1, 2006
11:01 pm
My Domain
from "dust" til dawn (from dusk til dawn)


Today is the 3rd day that I could hardly breathe because of the “dust” form the
office repairs.

It was a wrong choice, not minding the danger that area is now causing me.
I don’t remember ever feeling this way (sigh). I took in an antihistamine this afternoon hoping I’d be better but naaah. It is as if there is a heavy object resting on my chest that makes me feel like I have few more hours left to breathe and to live. PLEASE not yet….. not now.



Struggle for one’s life, aaaaaaargg!

love the game, love my team :)

whenever we are sleepy and reaching our silent mode status,
there is always a nice game for us.

good thing these guys never get tired of finding means
of waking us up (night shift) it pays to be witty.

and i am so happy being with my team, such an intelligent groupmates
i have here, WOW!

it is far more different when we think beyond what we normally
see.

horray!!!!!

"chocolate party"

Our class just had a "chocolate party" it was fun.

JK's idea of giving a sort of group review about all that
we have just taken up since last week.Everybody had a
chance to shine :)WOW!

It is absolutely outrageous and one of a kind. What a
different way to motivate us all.Not to mention that
this is the first time he has had training in
Manila.

Thanks JK, we all learned a lot from you.

We will be missing you and the special, yummy-yum-yum
chocolate party!

zappppp!

there are times when i just want to just ZAPPPPPP!

well not all all the time is a good time though nor a bad a time.
i hate it when people cannot decide at once evene for simple things in life.
so what about the most difficult situations in life?

maybe if i were to be given a power, i'd rather choose how to make things or persons
disappear.

with a snap or with a simple wink of an eye....

ZAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPP!

"i am what i am"

iam what i am
i am my own special creation......

i love this song....to the max

it greatly speaks of one's being proud
of who he or she really is.

"absolutely fantabulous"

I have met a group of "absolutely fantabulous people."

Not just fantastic nor just fabulous but both.
Just cant be neither of the two that I have just mentioned.

It pays to be rich in terms of friends, for all you know
they are the ones whom you can run to in the end.

My deepest gratitude to these "fantabulous" people
who have made a difference in my life.

"to each his own"

i'm really tired after weeks of training and not making it to the
next stage at the call center.

had fun spending time with my new found friends there.kept the real ones.
hard work, blood sweat and all that, whew!

would be missing my group, a lot.we never argue at all, like we are
always in sync.RESPECT,eh.

thankful for having experienced what it is like to be a "night owl."

traffic jam

Who says traffic jam only happens on the streets?

Naaah! i have experienced a lot in my mind, specially
when there are new things to grasp. :)

Traffic jam also happens inside someone's heart, whenever
someone can't choose from several persons to love or to "hate."
Whatever the case maybe.....

Oooops, traffic jam happens inside someone's pocket, whenever
the bills are converted to coins and you just need a certain amount.

Those are just few that I can name of now,maybe there are still
a lot that i have not experienced yet.

Traffic jam? Where?

"peace"

"christmas time"
Peace and quiet,festive but calm.
What's the spirit?

Peace is what I long for in my heart and in my mind.
I searched for myself and found me, sometimes too stiff, and
at times too crazy so I cry out loud.

If maybe one of these days I'll open my heart....
I hope to find peace.

"security"

evryone wants to feel secured about something or someone.

I find security from simple things since i don't get in from someone.
I find security from my bags,my shirts,my blanket,my friends.myself.

But most of all,I find security from HIM :)

KARMA

Should I call it KARMA?

My last day at the NGO work was December 9.I was so sad and hopeless because
I'm losing a job at this time of the year.

Thursday, 8th of December I got a call from a call center in Makati.I passed the
phone interview. I was scheduled for an exam on December 12.

I prayed hard and said,"Lord if this is where you want me to be, take me there."
The exam was difficult and it was my first time to apply in a call center.
I got the job at 4:15 pm.Happy me!!!!!

a matter of choice

it is just a matter of choice,

be happy or sad, be successful or not etc.
everything is just a matter of choice. I chose
to keep on pouring what's on my mind thru blogging.

Until now I am still here because I chose to keep
living. I dont know when I could start loving again.
What matters to me now is that i live for my kids and
myself. I don't remember having cursed someone because
I believe in karma. A choice not to feel is something
that bothers me.Who knows? This one will kill me, after
having gone thru a lot, that is all that could stop me.

If I can buy happiness I'll save a lot and buy plenty of happiness.
If I can save love, I will.
If I can just close my eyes now and be i paradise, I will.

Everything is a matter of choice......

alone and free

when will i be alone and free?

no way i could tell how soon this can be.

as my fingers type these words, my mind is too busy
finding the right answer.

moving on to the next chapter of my life.finding the right path. crossing the many roads to success.

could it just be that i am day dreaming?

opposites

hungry but full

asleep but awake

happy but sad

old but young

great but duh?

bright but blue

near but far

old but new

one but many

pretty but ugly

when u say it,mean it,do it

when you say it,mean it,do it

when you say it,mean it, do it. It doesnt stop there.
Been there done that the usual line great men say.
Lucky that my memory bank keeps alot of happy and hoppy thoughts.
At times when I feel like I am a total wreck, have to look back
and dig some positive stuff from my memory bank. Somehow,it seems
quite ok for even at least a moment.

Where do I begin to pick up the pieces and fix the puzzle?
Butterflies in my tummy, aaaaaarrrrg........

More often than not,I stop when I feel that my answer would just
bring me great pain,load me more with tons and tons of hurting inside.

In the mean time got to continue holding on to my only hero,
MYSELF.........

too late the hero

too late the hero

Wish I never have to re-do this thing againbut now
I am cause i'm left with no choice.

Questions come flodding my mind,it never stops.
I hope the hero comes just right on time. So I won't die
just like that.

Am I too trusting or too dumb that's why people take advantage
of my kindness?

The answer is.......I am both. Well let's just wait for KARMA.