cold and blue, what do I do?

I can't breathe, I can't speak, I can't describe what's happening to me now.
Whatever it is, i don't like it.

I wonder how it feels to be sharing laughter with someone? Where have all the happy memories gone by?
It is so not me, I feel like my face is so stiff, my heart stopped beating,I stopped breathing, am I dead?
Alive but dead, what is that thing called?

Maybe I'm mad, sad and broken. I can't even shed a tear. To be dead is even better than this stage where I am in
now. How could I get myself out of this situation. I need to pour out everything within me, the soonest possible time.I would not want to puff like a balloon.

I have to be with an angel though it doesn't have wings, gotta be with someone. I will be deteriorating soon
and I would not want that to happen to me.

Cold and blue, what do I do?