Monday, October 03, 2005

where is this ending

today, I'm in one of those balancing acts of my life, here at a net cafe trying to loosen up.

what have i got to do to make things okay, at least appear okay.
I never have readied myself for such great ordeal. never imagined living
this way,sad, devastated holding on to myself until i win the game.

never did imagined how it was not to cry my heart out, spill out or just plainly say.........................aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrg......
i want enough of this, it's killing me and still i can breathe. alive but dead how can that be?

all these, a life for someone who just wants to be happy............
just that, be happy and not to hurt anyone...........

my only question is.......where is this ending?when? How painful it is to be keeping all these to myself, absorbing it all until i busrt, into tears i hope then just let it all pass me by. Like a story that ends the way i ever would want it to end, then start with a new one......aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrg!

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